Fifth Wheel
by one cast shadow
Summary: Squall with Rinoa, Irvine with Selphie, what are the others to do when they feel left behind? Quistis and Zell commiserate with a little heart-to-heart talk. Rating for [VERY] brief language.


An introspective piece into Quistis Trepe's matronlike persona. Mainly written because I never liked her until I realized how much I would actually hate to BE her. After that realization, it kinda wrote itself.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, they're Squaresoft's. I do, however, plan to sue for custody when I'm master of earth. X3  
  
*This* is Quistis thinking.  
  
Oh hey, and don't give me grief about "Rinoa bashing," okay? I didn't intend it to be that way, so please don't take it as such. ^_~ I actually like Rinoa more than I do Quistis, but I needed a lead-in to the fic I wanted to write and this was the easiest way I could think of. Sorry guys, I'm new at this.  
  
~ Fifth Wheel ~  
  
"So Squally, did you wanna go on Friday? Huh?"  
  
It was eating her alive trying not to notice. It was 7:34 in the morning, and the so-called gang, sans Zell, was eating breakfast as usual in Balamb Garden's cafeteria. It was early, even by Quistis' standards, and too early to feign innocence and concentrate on not caring. At the moment, Quistis wished for Squall's indifference more than anything in the world. *Except for Squall himself, of course. Oops, no, I didn't say that. Rinoa's got him on a tight leash now- I mean, he's hers- of course I'd NEVER want to-*  
  
Quistis looked up as Squall shrugged, made a face, and mumbled an almost incoherent not really. Rinoa's face fell.  
  
"Oh, c'mon! It'll be so much fun! Please, Squall?" She smiled and made a pouty face.   
  
"Pleeeeaaasseeee?" Quistis became intensely interested in her orange juice as Rinoa placed a delicate ivory finger on Squall's shoulder, tracing a little imaginary circle on his leather jacket. The scene itself was almost disgusting. Squall seemed to pink a little as he glanced at Rinoa, and Selphie giggled.  
  
"Squall, don't resist. You have to go anyway, me and Irvy are, and it's gonna be soooo cool!" Selphie said, flashing them all a huge smile. Irvine just nodded, giving Squall a wink.  
  
Quistis hated tasting the immaturity of jealousy in her own mouth. She was better than this, and yet the whole thing was making her blood boil. She took a swig of orange juice. *I'm calm. I'm not mad. I'm a good friend.*  
  
"Squall..." Rinoa let her voice drop off seductively, laying her head on his shoulder. *I'm a GOOD FRIEND. I like Rinoa. Rinoa makes Squall happy. I WANT Squall to be happy.*  
  
Squall glanced nervously from Rinoa, to a beaming Selphie, to Irvine who was now giving him a suggestive look, back to Rinoa who was still cuddling up to his shoulder. *QUISTIS TREPE WILL BE A GOOD FRIEND.* He seemed to sigh, admitting defeat, and almost smiled ever so slightly. "Okay, whatever."  
  
"YAY!" Rinoa squealed, throwing her blue-clad arms around him in a tight hug. Squall continued to sit there, looking visibly uncomfortable but happy nonetheless, at least for himself.  
  
Selphie fired off a delighted booyaka, just as Zell sauntered over with a huge plate decked out with sausages, bacon, and eggs. Quistis, however, was not paying attention as moments before she had snapped and decided now would be a perfect time to plot Rinoa's murder. She tried to keep herself from grinning as she conspiratorially stirred her orange juice, laughing at her own little joke. *I'm so pathetic. Oh well. What's better? My whip, or Squall's gunblade? Definitely the latter. There's a certain kind of irony in it that makes it very appealing.*  
  
"Yo, what up?" Zell said, pulling up a chair.  
  
"Rinoa seduced Squall into coming with me an' Selph on Friday." Irvine flashed his trademark swoonworthy smile at Selphie.  
  
Quistis felt like banging her head on the table. *Because who would notice if I did? It's not like I'm here. It's not like I'd like to go out on a Friday night.*  
  
The issue was a very trivial one, of course. Some club on Friday that Irvine and Selphie had made plans to go to, and decided to be good friends and invite their joined-at-the-hips friends Squall and Rinoa to come along for a night of... "Pah-TAYing," as Selphie liked to put it. Quistis wondered, as anyone would, what activities exactly would fall under "pah-TAYing," but unfortunately she wouldn't be going with them to find out. Because of course, Quistis was not invited. Either because she was deemed too MATURE, too INTELLIGENT, or much too REFINED to have any fun ever in her entire lifetime. She wasn't sure what hurt more, the idea that they had forgotten her completely, or the idea that they had left her out purposely because they automatically thought she wouldn't want to come. *What am I? Fifty?* It was times like these Quistis was somewhat glad of getting fired. It just seemed like this was the icing on the cake to her nonexhistent adolescence, the last straw. It wasn't really because she wanted to go out dancing, just the idea of being asked in itself was appealing.  
  
Of course, seeing Rinoa seduce Squall into coming hadn't helped much, either. While Quistis had declared her feelings for Squall a sisterly love, it was more or less just a front to keep down the tension. She didn't love him.. anymore, but Rinoa was obliviously pouring salt in the wound. Mountains of it.  
  
Rinoa and Selphie were planning a shopping trip, Squall was mundanely eating his grapenuts, and Irvine was trying to see down Selphie's shirt as Zell looked up from slathering his eggs in catsup just in time to see a depressed Quistis sigh, stand up, and throw away her empty paper cup. She gave the table an almost angry wistful glance, and headed toward the cafeteria exit halfheartedly. Zell stopped cramming eggs in his face, thinking.   
  
***  
  
The wind blew gently, and shafts of golden sunlight danced down through the few trees in the quad. Quistis's boots made a tap-tap-tap as she walked along in the morning sunshine of waning summer. She stopped on a flight of stairs, and sat down in the shade of one very large oak tree, sighing heavily as she did so. She let herself drift to the other side of consciousness, on the other side of thinking, and sat for a while in such a trance-like state she didn't even hear the heavy sound of Vans colliding with cement until Zell was right behind her, carrying the remains of his breakfast.  
  
"Heya Quisty." She visibly jumped a little at the sound of his voice piercing through the silence of the summer morning, but recovered quickly.  
  
"Morning, Zell." She smiled up at him, and she was relieved that unlike smiling at any of the others, smiling at Zell felt genuine. Nothing felt genuine around them anymore. *I'm such a phony. I'm so sick of it, they're all driving me crazy. Everyone's driving me crazy. Why can't I just say "fuck you" and get it out and over and done with? Oh, right. Because I'm Quistis. Better behaviour is expected of me.*   
  
Zell continued to stand beside her. She had drifted off into her own little Squall-like, melancholic world of interior monologue again by this time.  
  
Again, Zell broke the silence. "So, what's up? Not like you to Squall out on me."  
  
Quistis had to grin at that. "Was I really that out of it?"  
  
"Completely," Zell interjected enthusiastically.  
  
"My apologies." The two shared a laugh.  
  
"So, really, Quisty, what's buggin' ya?" He gave her a sympathetic look. *He caught me leaving. The bastard.*  
  
"Oh, nothing. Just everyday living." She sincerely hoped he would notice the irony and desperation in her voice and understand that this was one of those lies that was meant to be understood. He cocked one blonde eyebrow - it seemed as if he did. *Please pry. Make me tell you.*  
  
"You're acting kinda funny for just 'nothing.'" *Thank Hyne for you, Zell.* He suddenly plopped right down on the cement next to her and offered the plate adorned with the remainder of his breakfast to her with a light smile. "Sausage always makes me feel better. I ate most of it, but if you want the rest you can have some."  
  
To anyone else, Quistis would probably have given the most incredulous look ever mustered, but understanding Zell and his odd love of pork products gave her the idea that this wasn't really an offer given to just anyone. *Either that, or I'm so pathetic even a stupid offer of sausage seems like comfort to me. Quistis, you're losing it.*  
  
She gave him a small smile, but declined. "No, thank you anyway though. I ate already."  
  
"I was just there, you didn't," Zell said with the same honest sympathy. "Have a damn sausage, Quisty, and tell me what's up."  
  
Zell was one of the most emotional people she knew, he'd accept it, right? Not like it really mattered. She'd have spilled her guts to anyone at the moment, just to have someone listen. Quistis closed her eyes and gathered her thoughts. Zell continued to sit, waiting patiently.  
  
Quistis finally opened her eyes and looked Zell in the eye with the utmost of seriousness. "If you must know, I was plotting Rinoa's murder."  
  
Zell shifted his eyes around in mock nervousness. "Were you thinking weapon, or poison?" The two shared another laugh.  
  
"Nah, really, though. It must be tough for you, huh? 'Cause of Squall, and.. yeah.." Zell's voice trailed off, and he looked down into his lap, embarassed. He wasn't sure how much of this was forbidden to everyone, and he didn't want to pry too much.  
  
Quistis just nodded. "Yeah. And they leave me out. It's like twisting the knife."  
  
"Mmm." Zell grunted his understanding. Reaching for his plate of lingering sausage, he stabbed one and waved it in Quistis's face.  
  
"It'll make ya feel better. Promise."  
  
She grinned and rolled her eyes, but took it anyway. All the morning's self-delusion piled on top of the year's lies made for one very hungry Quistis.  
  
After polishing off the remaining sausages, Quistis continued pouring out her soul to Zell, who listened gingerly.  
  
"I'm not with someone and they leave me out. I feel so excluded is all. We just used to be friends, you know? All of us. But now it's the four of them. And I wonder if they leave me 'cause I'm single, or 'cause they think I'm boring, or that I don't want to have any fun-"  
  
Zell interrupted, wildly shaking his blonde spiky head. "It's not that at all, Quisty! They don't mean to, it's just.. They're in their own little world now."  
  
"They forgot me."  
  
It was awkward and quiet for a moment, Zell searching haphazardly for a reply. "Well, you always have the Trepies?"  
  
Quistis gave him a blank look. "I'd like to kill them all." Evidently, he didn't find the right one.  
  
"You just have murder on the brain, don't you?"  
  
"Loneliness often drives one to that," she replied a little too bitterly.  
  
"Ohhh! I knew that was it." Zell pounded the concrete absentmindedly with a fist for emphasis.  
  
Quistis looked surprised. "How'd you know? Am I really that transparent and shallow?" He just laughed.  
  
"Nah. Not to them, they'd never notice. But I can kinda get where you're coming from."  
  
"Oh.." Quistis suddenly felt stupid and insensitive. Or rather, even more stupid and insensitive. She wasn't the so-called gang's only fifth wheel. "Zell, I should've known you felt the same way, I should've guessed, but I was so wrapped up in how I felt, that-"  
  
"Hey, hey, it's cool." Zell just shrugged, unphased.   
  
"I'm.. sorry."  
  
There was another silence, but less awkward this time.   
  
Zell finally turned to her and grinned. "Why do you wanna kill the Trepies?"  
  
"They think they know me, but they know nothing about me at all."  
  
"Aha." Zell nodded.  
  
"And it's not just them, everyday it's like I have to put on an act for everyone.. I'm always supposed to be cool and calm and collected.. They're the worst reminder of it, because they're the most expecting. But our friends are pretty bad too.."  
  
"It's like, no one thinks you should have a life?"  
  
"Yeah, exactly." She looked at him suddenly, smiling. "When did you get to be so smart?"  
  
"I always was," Zell boasted, chin high in the air in mockery. He looked down his nose at her, grinning wildly and baring his snow-white teeth. "It's just no one ever notices."  
  
"Oh, I see," Quistis drawled, returning his smile. "Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel."  
  
~ FIN. ~  
  
There were lots of Quistis's issues I tried to incorporate into this, and I hope that you got a feel for what about her I was trying to convey. If you didn't, review and tell me so I can try again. I'd love to have pointers; this is my first time posting fanfiction here and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! :) 


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